After our morning pledge and national anthem, we would commemorate the 'assembly' by chanting prayers, some common ones suitable to all castes and sects in India. Although I sigh now remembering, they never included something for the kids who followed Islam; same pattern in all the schools I have been to (there have been a couple). But that is a story for another day.
The prayers would ring through the walls till they vibrate from the foundation deep down below and our ears were full, eventually making a place in our huge brains- which I later learnt that we as humans do not ever use more than 2%, scientifically and experientially proven.
In most of the prayers, we were made to feel thankful for the life given to us, to all supposed Gods, to nature and our parents. It was so generalised, that it was almost inconsiderate to the kids who had abusive parents, to the people who were orphaned in childhood, to the kid who was being raised by a divorced parent, widow/widower, remarried, step-parent, guardian; the list goes on. As a bottom line, we were supposed to honour, without a second thought, everything our parents did for us. No matter if they are wrong, it was imbibed in us to respect them, never leave them and care for them for this lifetime. It was a concoction in our brain like a chemical by Professor Utonium, although this one mixed on purpose, in the name of culture, ethnicity, patriotism, rituals and also deep-rooted, visibly invisible patriarchy.
How does this all co-relate, you ask?
Well, does it not?
As Indians, are we not one of those countries, where moving out after 18 years of age is frowned upon? Whereas in western countries (west from India), it is considered to be a sign of a well-cultured human being, a self-sufficient adult and most importantly, independence is seen as the most favourable quality, the most sought after goals.
Independence, you see, is a very fancy yet enviable word:
For my country, it meant everything; but as an individual, it is supposed to mean nothing.
As a country, we wanted to be free from all the invaders throughout history; but as an individual, we long going to the same western countries for our jobs and studies.
We as a country, keep fighting the people who try to invade us to date; but if as an individual, you try to fight for your independence, you become the epitome of betrayal, of a bad person and also, a bad child.
A bad child because of the chemical concoction in our brains, leaves traces of guilt, every time the chemical travels through our neurons.
As a child, an adolescent, an adult- we are repeatedly reminded of how we would be a failure in life if we were to choose for ourselves, how choosing ourselves is selfishness and mean-mindedness.
Meanwhile, no one taught us there is a thin line between choosing for ourselves and selfishness. No one told us independence does not mean betrayal, it means growing up, nurturing ourselves, taking care of the people you feel something towards. No one told us parents are our birth givers, caregivers are all true, but it is not true if we seek space and independence, has to be concluded into being a failed child. And lastly, no one told us, developing a bitter-sweet relationship with independence makes our brains handicapped.
Values, ethics, sincerity, honesty, loyalty- all being good qualities- can they not be merely a way of life? Is it difficult to see them as our branches, while the individual sits still as a trunk? Why do we judge the pattern the branches grew in?
Maybe, while growing up, we were taught to not let ourselves go and that trees had to have that dense foliage in our drawing book, otherwise, that would not be a tree at all.
Maybe we were taught, if we live differently and grew independent, we would be termed as criminals without a crime.
